Once Upon A Time

"Once upon a time there was a big, black bear." ..... my papaw would start out a story in a long, dramatic voice.  Usually, he would fall asleep shortly after the story started and I never knew what was so scary about the bear, but I felt it.  Bears were big and scary, although had never seen a bear except for at the zoo.

With all of the online controversy about the Bear or Man....who would you rather encounter in the woods, I feel like the story would have better prepared me for encountering danger if it had began, "Once upon a time, there was a big, bad man."  

I'm not a man hater. I don't think all men are bad or that men are born inherently evil.  I just know that when I'm hiking, that encountering a man can be terrifying.  I speak to and make eye contact to everyone I encounter.  There is a purpose for this.  I have learned over time, that even though I'm not a particularly social being that appearing social and confident makes us less of a target.  Also, looking like I'm prepared to fight to the death makes me seem like too much trouble. I am prepared to fight to the death.

During the "ME TOO" movement.....which should still be a regular reminder, literally ALL women have been subjected to some form of sexual harassment from a MAN. Probably more times than we can even recall or want to admit. 

I know that even though I live in a state where we share the trails with bears and mountain lions, I have yet to have an encounter with either.  They see me, they hear me, they are aware of my presence but have ZERO interest in me. I have however; had some scary encounters with humans, mostly men, and sometimes humans and their off leash dogs.  Humans have no regard for the safety of other humans.  Animals just want to be left alone and go about their day in peace without any contact.

Years ago, in my home town a man was walking alone in the creek.  He was murdered by two teenage boys.  Last year, near where I live now, a man was walking alone in the creek and was murdered by a teenage boy.  We can't even let our guard down around young men.  Men are even at risk of harm by other men.  Men are the reason we can't hike alone, men are the reason we aren't safe.  

I had a scary encounter with a man while hiking. A few months later he killed a man and went to prison.  I could have been his victim but I wasn't willing to put down my machete or my trekking poles. I made a point to be social and friendly to every other person on the trail. A part of me felt silly because my body was telling me that I was in danger.  I could have asked every single person I encountered for help....but I didn't.  I should have.  I did maintain my outward calm, I thought of ways I would fight if it came to that.  I made it clear that I would fight and that I would fight to the death.  I made it clear that other people were aware of where I was and who I was with and if anything should happen to me, they would come after them.  This was all true.  Never ever ever go off in to the woods without telling a safe person where you are going and if you are going alone or with another person and who that person is.  Make sure that someone knows your location at all times.  Make sure that you speak to and make eye contact with other people. Literally everyone.  Carry pepper spray, knives, trekking poles, whistle....things that can be used as a weapon for protection or to draw attention.  If you don't have those things, pick up a rock, stick, use your keys, car alarm if you're close to your car.  Be prepared to fight and make a lot of noise.  Be prepared to fight to the death. It's sad that this is what we have to think about ..... and prepare ourselves for, but it isn't because of bears.