Monday, May 28, 2012

Naked Zombie Attack

By now, most everyone has heard of the naked zombie-man devouring the face of a naked presumed homeless man in Miami, Florida over Memorial Day weekend.  Yesterday morning, I was checking my Facebook when I saw a Huffington Post entry that described the horrific attack.  Officials are saying that this was "Cocaine psychosis" which is an interesting presumption. Why would they not assume he was on PCP or meth or even bath salts?

I can't imagine being one of the witnesses who saw the "man" savagely tearing the flesh from his victim and gnawing on his head. When the officer arrived he ordered the zombie man to stop, and according to the officer he looked up with a bloody face and flesh hanging from his mouth, growled at the officer and continued his barbaric rampage. The officer then fired at the man who continued to consume his victim unphased by the injury inflicted by the gun shot.  The officer shot the man several more times before the fatal shot that stopped the attack on the victim.

Armando Aguilar, who heads the local chapter of the Fraternal Order of Police of Miami, Florida said that the zombie man ate his victims nose and eyeballs. The victim was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital and was unrecognizable with no face left.  Hopefully they have the victim in some sort of quarentine.  This whole story is eerily similar to that of many zombie movies that I have watched.  In the movies, a zombie infects its victim with a bite and the victim then becomes a zombie themselves attacking and infecting others that it comes in contact with.  Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist or paranoid zombie theorist but this is not a story to ignore.

 The authorities are going to try to cover this up to keep from inducing a wide-spread zombie panic but be on alert people! Arm yourselves and be ready to defend yourselves against flesh eating freaks!  This story would not have been so disturbing to me if it made any sense whatsoever but there are way too many holes and missing pieces to this story.  Why, in a digital era with cameras and video on almost every cell phone during a very busy weekend in Miami, Florida can I not find any video other than the surveilance video released to the police by the Miami Herald that shows very little of the attack. This happened on a major freeway in a heavily populated area yet there are no pictures or video. This doesn't make ANY sense at all. Also, even an insane or crazy person or ANIMAL for that matter does not continue to gnaw on flesh of another after being shot unless they are not only NOT HUMAN but NOT ALIVE to begin with. I'm with the zombie theorists on this one. This naked freak was not a human being but a monster that until now was only science fiction.

UPDATE ON THE STORY - Cannibal/Zombie (whatever you want to call it) has been identified as 31 year old Rudy Eugene. What is even more messed up is that he is Haitian where it is believed that centuries old voodoo curses and a strong concoction of drugs can zombify (Nzambi) a person.
Click here to read the cbs news article and watch the surveilance video footage.
Get A Kit,    Make A Plan, Be Prepared. emergency.cdc.gov

If you're    ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency.    emergency.cdc.gov

If you're ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency. emergency.cdc.gov

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Follow Your Heart

I am only ME. I am nowhere close to perfect. I make mistakes. I'm not rich but I work as hard as any rich person. I might not have the best or most expensive material posessions but what I do have has sentimental value. If I bought it for myself I worked hard to get it, if it was a gift from someone else I am grateful and never forgot where it came from. I get busy and forget things, it seems like nobody ever stops by unless my house is a mess but I assure you it isn't a total disaster all of the time. My husband and I don't always get along but in a country and era where the divorce rate at 31% and many of my friends going on their second, even third marriage I am still with the man that fathered all three of my children for over 15 years. My kids are not perfect little angels (no kid is). We don't spend all of our time hiding from the truth. I have a very good relationship with my son and  daughters. We talk about everything. They know that they can tell me anything. I want to know about their life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Pretending to be perfect and live a perfect life only leads to disappointment. If I have disappointed anyone, it was long before now. I'm not trying to impress anyone or live up to anyone elses standards they may have for me. There may have been a time when I cared about other peoples opinion of me but I decided one day that if their way was the right and perfect way... then everything would have worked out better for them. There is no right way. Trial and error. You might live and learn and have life experiences to share but nothing prepares you for life like living it on your own and doing it yourself. Letting other people tell you how to live your life leads to regrets. Follow your heart and make your own mistakes. Don't make the mistakes of others. Noone else will take the fall for you when you fail at achieving the expectations of others. Noone else will say "hey, I'm the one that got you in this situation" when you take their bad advice. Live life and be happy knowing that everything you did, you did by following your heart. Of course, don't ignore your brain either. Our brain tells our heart when to beat.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Healing

So much going on right now, but this is a year of healing for all of us. This month is going to be especially exhausting. Many personal issues being dealt with in our family but positive vibes that once these things are taken care of our quality of life will greatly improve. Stress can consume you and although much of what we are working on is exhausting I believe that we will get through it.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

California Dreaming.....

Vacation to Florida was awesome. First time to Disney World for us as well as the kids. We had a great time and of all the parks my favorite was Animal Kingdom. I absolutely loved the Tigers. Couldn't get enough of them! Being in Florida only made me want to go to California so much more. I just wanna be somewhere I can be close to the ocean, palm tree scenery and watch my kids chase after lizards. I keep dreaming and hope that one day we'll make it there :)

Friday, March 2, 2012

too laid back? LOL

I laughed today when a co-worker approached me with this highly frantic, " make my emergency your emergency" demand and accused me of being too laid back, calm and nice. If she only knew the battle I have fought to get to this level of calm... and nothing or noone is going to take it away from me. I need this peace in my soul and I have no desire to be stressed out by anyone elses nonsense or affected by anyone elses crazy. To shake off the day I went to work out. I am proud of myself for sticking to my workout routine. I walked 3 miles today on the treadmill and worked for as long as I could on the eliptical and then went for a swim with my girls. I signed up for an ai chi class. I haven't gone to any of those yet but swimming today was nice and relaxing. I guess if I am being perceived as being laid back and calm my inner peace is starting to shine through & I guess I am ok with that.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Finding A Happy Place

Discovering that happiness is not a destination.... not somewhere you can walk, run, drive or fly to. My head is still in a good place and I am working very hard at keeping it there. When I am faced with adversity I go to the happy place inside of me where I keep all of my positive vibrations, I'm not going to let anyone dim my light and it gets brighter each day. Going back to work has been great. I don't know why I was led back to that place but I feel that I am there for a reason. I have stuck to my goal and started working out. With or without a partner I have a plan and I'm sticking to it. Friends have been pretty fickle and I can't let other people's agenda get in the way of working on me. I have been trying my hardest to get my husband on board with working out with me but he backs out at the last minute every time. Surprisingly, I have had one friend who has been there and for that I am grateful. Sometimes you find that true friends are the people you least expect and that the people you thought were true friends never really were. Honestly, I keep thinking about going to Disney World with the kids. I have no idea if we will ever go back. Even if we do, they will never be the age they are now again and I want the time that we spend there to be memorable for them. I don't want to be sore, tired and cranky from walking around all day. I want to be physically capable of keeping up with them and having the energy to enjoy the day rather than feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I keep thinking that Kris is going to wish he worked out with me but ehhh....you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I'm encouraging the kids to be more physically active as well. I am taking them to the Y with me as well. They can swim and play in the gym while I'm working out and on days when I am not working out if it is nice out I am encouraging them to ride their bikes and play outside. This winter has been such a wierd one, even for Ohio. One day it's snowing and the next day it's almost 60 degrees outside. I saw my doctor Saturday and my fear is that he is going to say... ok, you're all better now and you don't need to see me anymore! He asked me what I see as the next step... I'm not really sure!!!! I have come a LONG way in just a few months whether anyone else believes it or not but I don't want to just be tossed back out to the wolves. I never want to feel that way again. I'm still going to counselling and I honestly thought that there is no way that talking to someone could help but it is actually helping. I don't know how or why but it is. I worried that things would get worse, that she would make me talk about things I don't want to talk about but it's not like that. I've been reading self help books. Something I used to laugh at other people for. Writing in a diary. Doing everything I can to keep myself focused on my goals. Keep sending positive vibes my way!!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Getting Back In The Groove

Ah... last week was a toughie! Getting back into the swing of juggling school, kids, my homework, their homework, appointments and everything in between took some work. Glad I bought a day planner and started using it. I have to cancel my dentist appointment this week. I have to leave work early tomorrow for a funeral so missing Friday is definitely out of the question. Working hard at keeping myself in a good place. I found a really nice camera on Amazon that I am looking forward to buying. I have a lot of bills to get caught up on but I want to make memories and preserve them. I'm still waiting on my W-2's from one more place. We wont get back much this year but I am grateful that we are getting something at all! At least I hope so.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Good Things Happen....

Good things happen when you expect good things to happen! It's true. The law of attraction is completely true. I just have to get myself into the mindset to think even greater now that things are falling in to place. I do believe that 2012 is going to be a great year for my family - it has already started off in a great direction and I expect nothing else but greatness to come! I have already accomplished a few of my New Years resolutions, making way to begin tackling a few others. I normally do not make as many New Years resolutions as I have this past year but what seemed at first impossible is not going to be as difficult as I immagined. I am excited about starting my job Monday. I have a busy schedule and my day planner is filling up quickly with things to accomplish. Health is at the top of our list and we are working on that as well. My husband has an upcoming surgery. We believe that it is non life threatening but there is a potential for serious illness. I believe he is going to be fine though and there will be no complications. The kids are well and looking forward to Spring break. For Christmas, Kris's parents gave all of us a vacation to Disney World. My husband and I and the kids have never been to Disney World so we're excited. The kids can't wait to go. They are going to have so much fun!!!! Karissa and I have been "window shopping" on Amazon for things to take with us on vacation. New bathing suits... sunglasses, shoes... Life is great :)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Resolutions

It has been an extremely rough couple of weeks and I'm working through many serious personal issues that I have needed to attend to for a very long time. One thing that has been helpful is writing in a diary. Ever since I started blogging, I haven't done much writing on pen & paper except for school assignments which even most of those are done online. I have found this helpful for writing and venting very personal things that I would not want to share with others. I have also started reading a book by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer "Being in Balance" along with "The Little Book On Meaning" by Laura Berman Fortgang that I received from my mother from my birthday but never got to reading for one reason or another. This semester, I am only taking two classes. They are online which believe it or not is much more time consuming and difficult than going to class a few nights a week. The expectations of the professor's are higher and it is hard to find a quiet and peaceful place in my chaotic little house to work on assignments. Sometimes things have to fall apart to get better... and I have decided that I am tired of things falling apart in my life. At some point you have to decide that things are going to get better only if you do something about it. Although I have a lot of hard things to face, I am also looking forward to some fun with my family which I will post about as the time draws near.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

It's Over...

2011.... so many things happened this year but I am glad it is finally over. I am ready to make 2012 a good year for us. My family is what is most important to me. A husband who loves me and has stood by me in good times and bad, three kids who I love with all my heart and many special people in my life.

For 2012 I am making many changes in my life for the better. I am letting go of negative people who bring me down and embracing people who accept me for who I am and encourage me to be a better person without making me feel worthless.

I am happy with myself. I love myself. I'm not saying that I am perfect and I have a lot I want to change, but the wheels are in motion and I am on my way to making those change.  They say that everything happens for a reason, and I am ready to let go and move forward.

Happy New Year and Love & Light to All <3

Friday, December 9, 2011

A letter to my children

Dear Kristofer, Karissa & Kaylee: I want you to know that I love you three with all of my heart and soul. There is no other person who will love you unconditionally as your father and I do. I want you to know that no matter where you go in this world that you are always in my heart. You will always be welcome in my home, I will feed you, I will clothe you, I will nurture you for as long as you need. Some day, you will grow up in to adults, you will be faced with many choices in life but I hope that you know that no matter what decision you make, how many mistakes you make or how successful you become I will love you as much then as I love you now. Nothing will ever change that. I hope that life offers you far more opportunity than it has me. I hope you can learn from my mistakes so you do not have to make them. I hope that you realize the importance of a good education whether you see eye to eye with your teacher or not. I hope that you understand the difference between questioning authority and being disrespectful toward your elders. I raised you to think for yourselves. I hope that you choose to be leaders, but if you decide to follow, I hope that you follow good leaders. I want you to know that I will always stand beside you, I will always have your back. As long as you are honest with me, I will go through hell and high water to defend you. You can tell me anything. I am not here to judge you but to guide you. I am not here to hurt you but to protect you. Sometimes you may think that I am overprotective and please know that while it may seem horrible that I don't let you ride our bicycle in the street it is only because I don't want to have nothing left of you but a cross on the side of the road. When you want to spend the night at someones house and I say no, please don't be mad. Nobody will protect you the way I will. I don't want anyone to hurt you. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others. Never be the bully. In life you will encounter bullies in school, bullies at work and everywhere you go. Always stand up for what is right, but choose your battles wisely. Sometimes walking away is ok but sometimes you will need to fight for what is right. I hope that you will be able to make the right decision, but no matter what decision you make I will be there for you. When your heart is broken, always know that you can cry on my shoulder and I will comfort you. I will never put another above you. There is no person in this world more important to me than the three of you. I will never leave or abandon you. In a life of uncertainty, where people come in and out of your life always know that I will be the one constant person in your life. Love, Mom

Thursday, December 1, 2011

My most embarrassing.... and horrific moments


I like to think I'm a pretty smart lady but I admit, I have many "blonde moments" and can be a little naive about things.  I've had more than my share of embarrassing moments....even horrifying moments and I'm about to share them with you.

Why? Why would I share the most intimately horrific moments of my life with random strangers, people who know me, people who love me, people who hate me...? I am sharing these things because when something bad happens us, in that very moment of horror we think our lives are over, but life goes on. One day we hope that we can just laugh about it. 

I used to think, some day, I will be embarrassed again. Something horrific will happen and I will feel this way again. When your face flushes and your palms get sweaty and you wish you were just invisible and could crawl away but I'm sharing these moments with my readers because I don't care. There is NOTHING that I have to hide and shit happens.

The moment I laugh about the most was when I was doing a marketing event in Oxford.  I met with a group of doctors by myself because my boss was being lame and didn't want to come with me.  I was doing a lunch and learn where I brought in food for them in exchange for them giving me the opportunity to explain to them why they should send their referrals to me.  Well, for whatever reason, these particular doctors expected me to not only bring them food but also POUR their drinks for them LOL. Me, being the clumsy person I am knew that this is a very BAD idea.... however, I went along with it and ended up spilling pop all over the head doctor.  He was a very grumpy older man too. All of the younger doctors realized that this was VERY bad for me...but they were trying to stifle their laughter while I was completely horrified. Anyway, I never went back to that office and also never received any referrals from them but I think that had I reacted differently to this very embarrassing situation I could have saved the day. Now, writing about this, it all seems completely comical.  Hell, it sounds like something Elaine would do on a Jerry Seinfeld episode only she would have handled it much better & somehow saved the client. Me.... I let my pride take over.

Another embarrassing moment.... taking it wayyyy back to highschool. I never ever wore dresses, except when I had to... and I had to wear a dress for a band concert at school.  I went to the bathroom with a group of friends and then walked in to the band room to ask my band director a question.  I stood there talking to him for five minutes before I felt a tug on my sleeve and my sister quietly pointed out to me that the front of my dress was tucked in to my panty hose. Hmmm.... that is why my band director made it a point to make eye contact with me the entire time in a way that started to creep me out a little. How many people were in there that noticed and didn't tell me? Now, that was embarrassing then.... but rather funny now. At least my panties were cute and this was before I had three kids so....

Another one....yes, sadly, high school as well. I worked at a movie theater.... and after my shift was over, my boyfriend and I sat in the very back and started making out.  He then decided he was going to do something that I hate to say I would ever have allowed in a public place but anyway, my boss decided to make another round with his flash light and caught my boyfriend in the act of going down on me..... completely and TOTALLY horrifying. Although, he didn't realize that was going on at first and thought there was something WRONG that my boyfriend was on the floor so he decided to come and take a CLOSER look.... and I really thought I would die. At least he was an old hippie and has probably forgotten all about it.

More embarrassing moments.... a lady once came up to me at work and said " oh! there's going to be a baby!!!!" Um, I wasn't pregnant. Just fat. I informed her of that. I tried to just laugh about it and shrug it off but then she took it to a whole other level and wanted to argue with me that I surely MUST be pregnant, and am I sure that I'm not? LOL. Seriously????? No lady, I'm just fat.

What else? Oh, this is a funny one that my friends still make fun of me for. My being naive. A co-worker told me her dogs were barking and I asked her how she could tell because I thought she was like some weirdo with some kind of psychic connection to her dogs that she could tell they were barking or was having some bizzarre separation issues with her dogs. No, I had never heard that phrase before. I even roll my eyes. So, everytime I have a blonde moment my friends now say "My dogs are barking".

Another one, I had to wake up early to go to court with my then boyfriend, now husband.  It was super early and I had just come home from surgery the day before so I grabbed the pair of pants that I had tossed off the night before and just put those on.  A few hours later, I am walking through the court building and a pair of panties falls fromt he leg of my pants and on to the floor. Hoping nobody noticed....I grabbed them up and tossed them in a nearby trash can because I didn't have my purse with me and didn't want to walk around carrying a pair of panties. LOL. So... I hope nobody saw that.

I once woke up and went to the bathroom and when I sat down to pee, there was a wolf spider in my crotch, I looked down, and there it was just staring up at me with all 50 of its huge eyes (exaggeration there). I jumped off the toilet (peed down my leg) and screamed. The spider... I scared it, it ran away. But anyway my friend Sarah thought that it was funny and told people about it... and then when she would introduce me to them... she would say... "she's the one with the spider..." and they would be like "oh and omg!" or someone would meet me that knew her and they would be like "omg! you're the one with the spider!!!!" (Sarah.... I will pay you back some day for that one... wait, maybe I already have LOL)

My daughter embarrassed the CRAP outa me at Walmart last year.  We were walking in an aisle way in the back of the store by the hardware stuff and I had to pass gas. I couldn't hold it in. I did it quietly but I warned my kids lol. Anyway, my daughter wanted me to buy her something when we got to the check out lanes and I told her no. So she proceeded to tell the teenage cashier to warn everyone not to walk back by the hardware aisle because her mom farted back there and it was really stinky. My face turned blood red, so there was no denying. Anyway the cashier rang us out as quickly as possible and was totally horrified and I try my best to avoid going through her lane. She still works there.

Not only am I extremely clumsy and occasionally awkward, this white girl has no rhythm and I sometimes even fall UP the stairs. It sometimes takes me a while to get jokes and I take things way too literally.

While most of my blogs are serious or deep....this was just meant to be light and funny. I hope it makes you feel like your most embarrassing moments weren't so horrible and if you refer to me as the girl with the spider...I'll take it as a compliment that you read my blog however; if you try to insist there is going to be another baby I'm afraid I'm going to have to punch you.

LOVE & LIGHT <3

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Lorelei's Moonstone

Lorelei’s Moonstone Once upon a time, in a very small, very poor village near a wealthy gated community there lived a young girl named Lorelei. Lorelei lived in a small, Cape Cod with a roof that needed repair, gutters that were hanging off, siding that should have been replaced over a decade ago and her yard was overgrown with weeds.

Both of Lorelei’s parents died when she was very young. Her father, a navy seal was lost at sea and presumed dead when she was only a toddler and her mother re-married when Lorelei was five. Her step father had 2 twin sons, Richard and Paul who were eight.

When her mother and step father first married, the union was wonderful. Her step father adored her because she was his little princess. He lavished her with gifts and her step brothers became jealous. They would tease her and play mean pranks on her. Lorelei would run off to a nearby orchard where she would walk through what she pretended was a fairy forest, which really was a beautiful tunnel of old oak trees, carefully cultivated to form a natural canopy over a path that led to a creek where she spent hours collecting pretty rocks and crystals.

One day, while walking through her fairy forest, Lorelei spotted a group of kids from the gated community. She didn’t know them from school. They went to private schools, and she rarely ever saw them except behind the large, black gate that separated their world from hers. She actually felt sorry for them. They had a golf course for a playground; there were no trees to climb or places to explore. They did of course have that magnificent swimming pool but Lorelei was perfectly content taking a dip in her swimming hole in the creek. She had her own waterfall, and would float on her back while dragonflies landed on her toes and butterflies kissed her nose. She pretended they were fairies and would talk to them as if they could understand her.

Lorelei climbed up into one of the oak trees in her fairy tunnel and watched the children playing. She had never had friends before to play games with, her step brothers never included her in anything they did and she kept to herself at school. She watched the children as they formed a circle. One of them drew a pentagram in the center of the circle and they lit candles on the North, South, East and West points of the pentagram. They began chanting rhymes and Lorelei decided to climb down to get close enough to hear what they were saying. As she climbed out of the tree, one of the girls noticed her in the woods.

“Hey you!” she called. Lorelei was frightened. She slowly walked toward the circle; there were three girls, and one boy. Timidly, Lorelei spoke. “I wasn’t trying to spy on you, I come here every day and I’ve never seen any of you.” The taller girl, a very pretty girl with dark skin and eyes the color of the pyrite rocks she found near the creek and wild dark curls that framed her ebony face stepped forward. “If anyone asks, you never saw us. We aren’t supposed to go past Iron Gate, but we paid Sonya’s maid (she waived her hand toward the short, skinny blonde with a pixie haircut who reminded Lorelei of a picture of Tinker bell in her Peter Pan movie) to drive us past the gate and if anyone finds out, she will be fired for sure. Lorelei suppressed a giggle, realizing that Sonya was even wearing a short leaf green shirt and pointy green slippers.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul,” Lorelei said more cheerfully now, realizing these children seemed friendly enough and weren’t angry with her for watching them. “What are you doing?” she asked them.

The boy piped up. “I’m Lucas. Toni (he nodded toward the pretty girl with dark skin), purchased a hope chest from an estate sale a few weeks ago. She had no idea that there was anything inside the hope chest until it was delivered to her home. She opened it up and inside there were crystals, books, an athame, candles, tarot cards and runes. She found a spell in one of the books that is supposed to put us in control of our parents. We are tired of them telling us what to do, where we can go and who we can talk to.

“Could I watch?” Lorelei asked.

“Even better, why don’t you help us re-cast our circle since you broke it.” The other girl who had been quiet until now said. She looked younger than the other kids. She had bright red hair, pulled back in braids on both sides of her head. She reminded Lorelei of Pippi Longstocking. Her short upturned nose was dusted with freckles and unlike Pippi, she was dressed in very expensive, designer jeans, the cutest pair of heels that Lorelei had ever seen and a shirt that Lorelei had admired at the mall that was marked $75.

Lorelei joined the circle and took their hands, the group began chanting and the chant was so catchy that Lorelei joined in. Afterward, Lorelei showed them her favorite spot to climb trees, gave them a tour of her fairy forest and showed them a nest she had found a week ago that contained three small robin eggs.

When Lorelei returned home, her mother was furious. Lorelei had never stayed gone that long and her brothers enjoyed every moment of the tongue lashing that her mother gave. Her mother was normally a soft spoken, gentle woman but she loved Lorelei so much, and was so wrought with worry that she grabbed her paddle and spanked Lorelei. Shocked, because her mother had never laid a finger on her or scolded her with such fury, Lorelei lashed back and said “I hate you mother! I wish you were dead!” and stomped off to her bedroom.

Now, Lorelei’s father had just come home with her step brothers. They had only witnessed Lorelei’s cruel words to her mother and their jaws dropped when she stomped off in such a manner that they had never seen before. A few hours later, Lorelei heard a scream coming from the kitchen. She rushed out of her bedroom and saw her mother lying in the floor. Her mother often had fainting spells but this time, her mother had hit her head on the hutch and there was a small puddle of blood running down the side of her face. Her eyes were closed and she did not look like she was breathing at all. Lorelei grabbed the phone to call 9-1-1. Her step father and step brothers tried to perform CPR but she was gone. After the coroner took her mother’s body Lorelei’s step brother, Richard looked over at her angrily. “It’s your fault!” he yelled. “You wished that your mother was dead, and she died! You killed her.” Her step father and step brother Paul were silent, but Lorelei could see on their face that they were both thinking the same thing.

Her step father began drinking heavily. He had never so much as had a beer in front of them before her mother died but he was picking up a half gallon of moonshine from the neighbor every night when he came home from work. Lorelei could hear him crying at night and his sorrow made her feel even more horrible.

That night, she snuck out the window and found her way to her fairy tunnel. When she got to the clearing near the creek, she stood in the pale moonlight and fell to the ground, tears streaming down her face. She begged and pleaded to the gods and goddesses to hear her cries and reverse the spell and bring back her mother.

Fireflies danced in the oak tunnel, and as she cried, more and more of them swarmed around her. The fireflies began to take the shape of a woman. She had bright yellow hair, her skin was luminescent and she was almost transparent.

“Who are you?” Lorelei gasped.

“My dear, I am your fairy godmother” the woman replied. I have watched over you for many years, and because of your kind and gentle nature I have been granted the opportunity from my authority to help you. I cannot bring your mother back. You used magic, and magic has consequences. I can, however; help you out in a time of great need. I have a moonstone amulet for you. You must wear it at all times. When the moon is full, I will come to you and assist you. I can only help you on the first night of the full moon and you must have this amulet with you or I cannot come to you.

Lorelei put the amulet on a thin chain around her neck. Feeling somewhat better, she walked back home. The next morning, her brothers were especially horrible to her. Her step father, in a drunken stupor had broken dishes in the kitchen. Lorelei’s mother had always cooked and cleaned up after the men and since her death, they had not picked up after themselves once. She took it upon herself, feeling guilty for her mother’s death to take on the chores that her mother had often done for them.

As the years passed, Lorelei now eighteen cooked, cleaned, and even did laundry for her step brothers who never appreciated a thing she did. Her step-father, who spent most days in a drunken haze, lost his job and he hadn’t opened a piece of mail, or paid a bill since her mother passed. He had simply lost all hope and Lorelei wanting to help decided to get a job.

There was an advertisement on craigslist for a housekeeper position at one of the manors at The Gates. The woman hired Lorelei to work for her, but she was not very trusting. She followed Lorelei around, micro-managing her every move. She even expected Lorelei to get down on her hands and knees and clean each intricately designed tile porcelain tile and by the time she got home she was exhausted. She had even more work to do when she got home. Her brothers, both 20, still lived at home and expected Lorelei to wait on them hand and foot.

One day, Lorelei overheard her boss discussing a fundraising gala that would be taking place in a few weeks. She was preparing items to be auctioned during the event and asked Lorelei to help put baskets together. Her boss talked about the gala and who would be there. Many wealthy and powerful people would attend, the ladies would wear ball gowns and the men would wear tuxedos and there would be dancing. Her boss, Sue Ellen Hawthorne, looked over at her one day when she was helping arrange auction items and said,” why Lorelei! I have talked so much about the gala, the thought never occurred to me that you might like to go and see it for yourself!” Lorelei was overjoyed at this idea. She had never been to anything so fancy in her life and she envisioned the mansion as a castle and the men as princes and how she might be swept off her feet by Prince Charming.

“Mrs. Hawthorne”, she said. “I have nothing extravagant to wear to such an event. I have no shoes or dress that would be appropriate. I’m afraid I cannot go.

Mrs. Hawthorne looked at her in shock, and then gasped. “My dear! Oh my, I am so sorry. I did not mean that you should attend the gala as a guest. I was hoping that you would work for me. I have a uniform that would be quite appropriate for you, I would like you to help set up and clean up after the event. I can’t imagine what on earth would make you think you could be a guest at the gala! It is a fund raiser gala for a charity, not an event for a charity case such as you.”

Hurt, and embarrassed at the misunderstanding, Lorelei looked away so that Mrs. Hawthorne would not see her tears. She asked to be excused and Mrs. Hawthorne, who although crass at times, felt sorry for Lorelei dismissed her early from work.

On Lorelei’s way home, she checked her cell phone. No calls. Nobody ever called her. She had no friends, all she did was work and nobody appreciated anything that she did. She looked at the app on her phone, it showed the moon schedule. Tonight is the first night of the full moon! She felt for her amulet around her neck. She pulled out the moonstone and rubbed it. That night, after cooking dinner, cleaning house and helping her step father who had fallen asleep in his chair to bed she headed to her clearing in the woods. As she walked through the oak tunnel she envisioned fairies in the trees, whispering. When she got to her spot, just under the full moon, she pulled her moonstone out and rubbed it. Moments later, the first firefly appeared, then hundreds of them forming into the shape of her fairy godmother once more.

“What can I do for you, love?” her fairy godmother asked.

“I want to attend the gala as a guest! I want to meet a man who will fall in love with me and I want to live in a beautiful mansion in The Gates.

“Oh dear, I can help you with this wish however; it requires more magic that I am not comfortable using. I must warn you, a love spell comes with many consequences! You must listen very carefully to what I say. I will get you a beautiful gown, jewelry that Mrs. Hawthorne couldn’t afford, and matching shoes and a designer bag that the other ladies will envy you for. You will have money to bid on anything you choose at the auction, you will arrive in style with a chauffeur in a limo. Your gala ticket will be in your purse. All of these things will be in your room when you get home. You must remember however; many men will want to dance with you but the fifth man that you dance with is who will fall in love with you.

Lorelai, delighted with how beautiful she looked in her ball gown, and jewels set out to meet the driver. Her drunken step father never even looked up from the television. Her step brothers were playing video games in their room. Nobody stopped to admire her as she left her house but when she arrived at the gala she was greeted warmly by everyone she met.

Everyone wanted to know who this beautiful mysterious woman was that was new to their social scene. She was obviously quite wealthy, her gown had to cost a fortune and that jewelry she was wearing was worth more than their homes. Everyone wanted to dance with her, she accepted dance, after dance and after a few glasses of champagne forgot to pay attention to which man was her fifth dance partner.

It so happened, a very wealthy man had his eyes on Lorelei the moment she had been escorted into the mansion. His name was Beau, and he was quite older than Lorelei. She accepted his dance and when he looked into her eyes, he fell in love. Lorelei didn’t mind, he certainly wasn’t the best looking man at the gala but he was charming and rich.

He wanted to marry her right there, that day! Everyone was stunned. Never had anything quite that bizarre taken place at the gala but everyone had been drinking and went along with the wedding. Of course there was a judge who gladly agreed to marry the two.

That night, when Beau took her to his manor in The Gates as his bride, Lorelei felt happier than she had ever felt in her entire life. She was about to receive everything that she had ever dreamed of. She arranged a party to be thrown in honor of their wedding at her new home. Lorelei invited her step father and step brothers. Her husband offered his guest house up to them.

One night, Beau asked Lorelei about the amulet she wore around her neck. She pulled out the moonstone and to her surprise he looked horrified as if he had seen a ghost. His body began to contort and twist, his face became hideous and his body disgusting. Lorelei frightened, did not know what to do. Beau told her to please not be afraid of him. He loved her but Lorelei could not look at him. He was too ugly. He told her that a few nights before the gala; a witch came to him and told him that he should not dance with anyone at the ball. A beautiful woman would be there, he would find her irresistible but he must resist dancing with her. He said that she would curse him with her moonstone and he would have to live forever as a hideous beast. He did not believe in magic or curses and he gave the woman very little thought until Lorelei pulled out that moonstone. Before she could say anything, he angrily grabbed the moonstone and tossed it into the lake. Lorelei, sobbing, told Beau that had he not thrown the moonstone away, that on the next full moon her fairy godmother could have changed him back but because he had acted in anger that he was doomed now to remain a beast forever and that she could not love a beast. Lorelei filed for divorce the next day and since there was no prenuptial arrangement she received half of all of his riches. Beau of course, inherited her drunken step father and lazy step brothers.

The moral of the story: The way you react in a moment of anger can alter the entire course of your life

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Winter Blues

Although it is not yet officially winter, I already feel the winter blues or more politically correct Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) kicking in. It could be that it has rained almost the entire fall season. Gloomy weather, gray skies and getting soaked every time I walk out the door is not pleasant. I really love autumn and enjoy walking through parks, trampling through crispy crunchy leaves and breathing in the smell of a changing season but this fall the leaves are wet and soggy and walking through a park is out of the question because of the mud. I guess it is time to stock up on the vitamin D, I am seriously suffering a lack of sunshine! My usually pale skin is ghostly white these days, but a nice bronzer will fix that up if need be. I don't do tanning beds. Wrinkles, skin cancer, liver spots... it still amazes me that these tanning beds are legal. That, and I'm much too clostrophobic for such things. According to a website I recently visited, it isn't actually enough to just take a vitamin D supplement and get fresh air and sunshine to ward off those winter blues. They suggested light therapy, and of course want to sell you a book to teach you the 8 easy steps to a solution. They said that light therapy alone isn't enough, that you have to have light at exactly the right time for your body. Who knew combatting winter blues was so complicated. Doctors would just prescribe an anti-depressant which makes you wonder.... all of the money that you spend on prescription medication why you wouldn't first invest in a system that may save you the undesirable side effects of anti-depressants such as weight gain and painful withdrawal symptoms? For one, it isn't FDA approved as a treatment for SAD, however if it works it would be worth it. I don't know how useful the book they are trying to sell you at is worth the investment and light therapy boxes are not cheap. On Amazon, they range anywhere from $60 - $300+. It would be an interesting study in a work environment to see if placing light therapy boxes on the desks of employees increased productivity and engagement of those with the light therapy boxes opposed to those without. Hmmmm.... could be a future science project, expensive, but definitely would make for an interesting and useful study. Ahhh...I've set the wheels in motion, I think I may have to find a way to get my hands on some of these light therapy boxes ;) I'm accepting donations! LOL

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Prayer & Religion

Many people who do not associate themselves as being "Christian" seem to feel uncomfortable with prayer.  In my family, we have many people of different faiths as I am certain many of my readers have encountered similar diversity within their close or extended family units.

Prayer makes people uncomfortable if they do not know what they are praying for, whom they are praying to and what is the purpose of prayer. They feel like closing their eyes, bowing their heads they are conforming to a religious practice that they are not part of.

I take that time, I close my eyes and appreciate that we are all diverse in what we believe. I belive in universal love and christ consciousness within. I believe that we are all connected in the universe through love and light and closing our eyes and accessing our higher selves in prayer is not something that we must feel uncomfortable with. Do not feel as though you are conforming to any religious practice. Close your eyes and radiate love & light, let the energy flow through your body.

There is no need to excuse yourself from prayer. Participate, regardless of what you believe. Pray to the goddess, pray to the sun, pray to whomever you like....or just close your eyes and envision happy thoughts.

                           (¯`•.•´¯)¸•´¯`☆Happy Holidays!.`•.¸¸.•´♥¸•´¯`☆Love & Light
                           .`•.¸¸.•´♥

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I am thankful for...

Although at times I find myself in a dark place, I try to keep my blogs light and positive. One thing that I do not share often enough is that in which I am thankful for.  It seems, with this being Thanksgiving that it is an appropriate time to reflect on such things:

I am thankful for my husband who has stood by me through good times and bad. 
I am thankful for my children whom are my reason for being.
I am thankful to have a roof over my head and family that has helped us out so many times along the way.
I am thankful for electric and clean running water
I am thankful to have a comfortable bed to sleep in, and warm blankets to keep me warm
I am thankful for a running vehicle
I am thankful for my pets that guard our home
I am thankful for friends who cheer me up when I am down

Love & Light to all & I hope everyone has an enjoyable Thanksgiving dinner with friends and family!

Monday, November 14, 2011

heart break

My heart is broken...I feel so discouraged. Disappointed that I let myself fall into this hole, and angry with myself for being vulnerable. Just because I'm here, in this meloncholy frame of mind. You lie. You say one thing, but mean another. A frien(emy), I need your support but I know you have alterior motive. I'm down ... you let me down. I let myself down. I don't know who I am angrier with - you - me - other people standing in the way of what I want. I'm flawed, I can't let go of pain. I am like a sponge when it comes to pain. It absorbs into my body and resonates in my soul. I want to laugh and be happy. I want good things for my kids. I need an island, I need a place to scream, I need a place to bury my pain. I need a place to just dump all of this hurt and leave it there.
Poetic Venting - Jamie Michelle (House) Pickett, Poet

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Sunday, November 6, 2011

11/11 11:11:11

Almost a year ago, I wrote a blog titled 11:11. As we are only a few days away from 11/11 11:11:11 the more I find myself thinking about these numbers and what they mean. As this time surrounded by mystique and spiritual meaning draws near the more superstition and tradition of others becomes public knowledge...such as kissing the clock when you make a wish, and other rules of lore. Of course, many are what we might consider old wives tales.... but is there any truth to this date and its spiritual significance to us all? Many believe that this day is spiritually significant as a universal awakening and many are experiencing what they believe to be ascension symptoms as a result.  You may hear it called ascension, dna code activation, spiritual enlightement, opening of the crown chakra.... but for so many people all over the world to share these same symptoms and belief that this is what is taking place inside of them there must be something to it. I myself experience these symptoms with absolutely no medical explanation for them.  I have sought the opinion of many doctors, all of which were either baffled and unable to explain what is going on inside of me or have written it off as "stress".  I believe that something big is happening.  You know when you get that feeling that something is about to happen, you don't know what exactly but you know that it will be life changing.  That feeling has been building up inside me now for a long time.  Will we discover that we are aliens, angels, something else altogether? Who are we really? I can no longer accept the black and white for there are many shades in between. What do these numbers mean to you?

It amazes me that although there is so much information out there, about lightworkers and of spiritual awakening... many people claim to be unaware. I have started bringing up these things to my medical doctors when my symptoms are unable to be medically explained.  I ask them if they have heard of ascension and they just stare at me blankly with this deer in the headlight expression. Of course, there is no pill for that and insurance cannot be billed for spiritual ailments. You would think that as a doctor, they would want to not only treat you for physical problems but want you to be holistically healthy as well. Apparently not. There are plenty of spiritual healers and shamans out there who claim to have the ability to balance our chakras and heal us spiritually but I have decided that there is no reason to seek this type of healing by the hands of anyone else. We have the power to heal within ourselves. There is no God up in the sky. God, and the healing power of God is inside of us. We are all connected through Christ consciousness and that is what is taking place in our bodies. Our chakras are opening. That tingling feeling that led me to have a brain scan done, the out of control feeling that I have been experiencing.... is all part of the ascension process and I should STOP worrying about it so much.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wake Up!!!!!!!!!!

Today, as I waited for two hours at the hospital as my husband underwent a pre-surgical examination and I forgot to bring reading material, I was forced to entertain my mind with either magazines for senior citizens or watch tv which I never watch.  I watched the Anderson Cooper talk show, who's guest was the daughter in law of a man who I might be familiar with if I watched the news or tv, but he apparently embezzled millions of dollars from investors and his son, unable to deal with the shame and humiliation, took his own life.  Then of course, the price is right came on where you have to wonder what they give these people before the show to get them to jump around like that when they call their name. I must say, Drew Carey is looking rather slim these days though. Price is Right is then followed by the news.... which reminds me again why I never watch tv. My husband got bad news from the doctor. I felt helpless. Then I realize, I need to find a job. Well, this is not a sudden revelation. I actually have been looking for a job but I have been overly selective. Now I realize, there is no such luxury. Of course, there never was, it was a facade I created in my dream world in which I tend to drift off to when real life is too screwed up to even tackle. I have to wake up though. I can't retreat to my dream world when reality is a semi-truck ready to collide head-on with all that I am and all that I have. I went online, and applied for several jobs. I think that if I could pick one thing other than my marriage that technology has destroyed, it would be the job application process. It is the most frustrating thing to apply for jobs online. They want your entire life history, a background check, personality test, skill assessment... hello? What the hell are we going to discuss in the interview?  Would you like to take a blood sample? Frustrating isn't even the word for it. Disgusting. Jobs that require a 4 year degree offering a salary range of $10-$12 per hour. THAT is criminal. Do these people not realize what an education costs? $10 per hour.... I could get a job almost anywhere and make that. I didn't go to school to make $10 per hour. I made that BEFORE I ever went to school. That is indentured servitude. It's time for people to wake up. I know that there are protests going on all over the world about this Occupy Wallstreet and Occupy whatever. Try take your $10 per hour and shove it up your ass. I feel like applying for these jobs, getting the interview just so I can meet these people FACE to FACE and give them a piece of my mind.... and hope, and pray that soon I will get my peace of mind.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Out of Control

I feel like everything is in chaos. I have no control over anything that goes on in my life. Every decision that gets made, seems to lack my imput. I can't control the volume... everything is loud around me. I have no quiet place to think. I can't control the clutter. Things everywhere. When the kids use a glass, instead of fillng up the same glass again, they throw it in the sink and get a new clean glass for a refill or they just leave it somewhere for me to go around collecting. I can't find any place to go for peace and quiet. There is a movie playing on my husbands computer in the bedroom, there is a war being fought in my sons room while he plays Black Ops at full volume, a movie playing in the living room and dogs barking, cats meowing, and I feel like hiding inside a closet. I can't take it anymore. I can't do my homework anywhere because there is nowhere that I can even hear myself think!